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Jarod Kintz Quotes

Jarod Kintz Quote: “Nothing, Everything, Anything, Something: If you have nothing, then you have everything, because you have the freedom to do anything, without the fear of losing something.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “With faith the size of a mustard seed, you can indeed move a mountain, but you can hardly be expected to garnish your sandwich.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “I hate fake people. You know what I’m talking about. Mannequins.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “Laughter is the sound of the soul dancing. My soul probably looks like Fred Astaire.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “I want to end global hunger by feeding half the world’s starving people to the other half.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “Dance like there’s nobody watching. Or filming. Never mind that creepy guy in the corner with the camcorder. Just keep dancing.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “Love is the best gift because it’s free to give and priceless to receive.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “One of my main regrets in life is giving considerable thought to inconsiderate people.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “When faced with two equally tough choices, most people choose the third choice: to not choose.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “Sometimes I ask myself, “Do I have the courage to do the right thing when it matters most?” And that answer, I’m afraid, is silence.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “I am a slave to your love. Well, more like indentured servant.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “I don’t want to work a 9-5 job, because 20 hours a day is just too much.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “Fight or flight? If I had wings, there’d be no choice. But since I don’t have wings, I have to rely on my cape, and a long running start.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “I want to be asexual, because then I could be more productive. But not reproductive.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “Never let go of a good thing without a fight. Especially if that good thing is a pair of boxing gloves.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “I love running. I’m not into marathons, but I am into avoiding problems at an accelerated rate.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “Any lustful fool can love a million women, but only a real man can love one woman cloned a million times.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “It’s a dog-eat-dog world, and I’m just a kitten.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “The only drink I like ice in is water, because you can’t water down water. I’m like that with love, too. Don’t you dare add any ice to the hot liquid loving I’m trying to pour all over you.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “Don’t try to hog loneliness and keep it all to yourself. Share it with a special someone.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “I was going to change my clothes, but I changed my mind instead.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “I define myself and grow as a person through emotional torment, so if you love me, you will inflict as much pain on me as you possibly can.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “I’m bilingual, speaking English and body language. I prefer the latter, because I can speak it silently and without listening and while my back is turned.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “I love sleepwalking, because when else would I get to combine exercise and rest?”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “If I had a clone, he’d better be my equal, and not my better. Can you imagine how I’d feel being jealous of myself?”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “I am the earthquake of love. How you feel is my fault.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “I haven’t been feeling like myself lately. No, I’ve been feeling like my clone.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “The sunset faded and blended from pink to peach to mango in a smoothie in the sky. For as long as she doesn’t love me, I will love her.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “Because I’m emotionally immature, I’d prefer letting go of you early and always remembering you as you were, rather than hanging on and letting things develop and blossom and then eventually decay.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “Today is your special day, even if today might be tomorrow to an Australian. And even though you’re not Australian, it doesn’t negate the fact that today may or may not be tomorrow.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “I once asked an old Japanese man why Japan decided to team up with Germany during WWII, and do you know what he told me? Well, you would if you speak Japanese, which I don’t.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “When people change, I’m disappointed they’re not who I remember them being. And when people don’t change, I’m disappointed they still are who they were. All people do is disappoint, and I do mean all people.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, because that plane is still on the ground.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “Love knows no boundaries. I wish I would have known that before I hired a cartographer to map out my romantic territory.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “Friends are like orgasms: you can never have too many, but just try to watch out for the fake ones.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “It’s true, I can’t make you love me. But I can refuse to let you out of your cage.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “My love is expansive. Your love is expensive.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “Learning how to love is like learning how to tie your shoes, and that’s precisely why I wear slippers.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “My love is rare, like a hornless unicorn.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “I had a dream about you. I said green was blue and yellow, and you said green was yellow and blue. You were like that with everything I said, taking the exact opposite stance, yet completely agreeing with me. That’s how I knew you loved me.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “I used to date the lead singer of The Cranberries, but she cheated on me. Turns out she had some turkey on the side.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “Love will wreck your heart like a derailed train. So choo-choose your partner wisely.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “I don’t drink water, because if water can erode rock, think what it can do to flesh.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “You gotta run more than your mouth to escape the treadmill of mediocrity. A true hustler jogs during the day, and sleepwalks at night.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “My parents always said that knowledge was the best gift they could give me, probably because they were too cheap to buy me Christmas or Birthday presents.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “She had two lips like strawberries, and the seeds gave her kisses texture. I preferred kissing her over two scoops of vanilla ice cream.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “Ideas are like legs: what good are they if you can’t run with them, or spread them?”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “It’s scary to be a woman on a blind date. For all she knows the man she is meeting up with could be a rapist, a murderer, or, God forbid, a politician.”
Jarod Kintz Quote: “There Are Two Typos Of People In This World: Those Who Can Edit And Those Who Can’t.”
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