Top 500 Jarod Kintz Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “Nothing, Everything, Anything, Something: If you have nothing, then you have everything, because you have the freedom to do anything, without the fear of losing something.”

— Jarod Kintz

2. “Love is the best gift because it’s free to give and priceless to receive.”

— Jarod Kintz

3. “Dance like there’s nobody watching. Or filming. Never mind that creepy guy in the corner with the camcorder. Just keep dancing.”

— Jarod Kintz

4. “With faith the size of a mustard seed, you can indeed move a mountain, but you can hardly be expected to garnish your sandwich.”

— Jarod Kintz

5. “Sometimes I ask myself, “Do I have the courage to do the right thing when it matters most?” And that answer, I’m afraid, is silence.”

— Jarod Kintz

6. “One of my main regrets in life is giving considerable thought to inconsiderate people.”

— Jarod Kintz

7. “When faced with two equally tough choices, most people choose the third choice: to not choose.”

— Jarod Kintz

8. “Love is having nowhere to go, but someone to accompany you.”

— Jarod Kintz

9. “I hate fake people. You know what I’m talking about. Mannequins.”

— Jarod Kintz

10. “I want to end global hunger by feeding half the world’s starving people to the other half.”

— Jarod Kintz

11. “Laughter is the sound of the soul dancing. My soul probably looks like Fred Astaire.”

— Jarod Kintz

12. “I am a slave to your love. Well, more like indentured servant.”

— Jarod Kintz

13. “Never let go of a good thing without a fight. Especially if that good thing is a pair of boxing gloves.”

— Jarod Kintz

14. “It’s a dog-eat-dog world, and I’m just a kitten.”

— Jarod Kintz

15. “I don’t want to work a 9-5 job, because 20 hours a day is just too much.”

— Jarod Kintz

16. “Any lustful fool can love a million women, but only a real man can love one woman cloned a million times.”

— Jarod Kintz

17. “Fight or flight? If I had wings, there’d be no choice. But since I don’t have wings, I have to rely on my cape, and a long running start.”

— Jarod Kintz

18. “You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.”

— Jarod Kintz

19. “I want to be asexual, because then I could be more productive. But not reproductive.”

— Jarod Kintz

20. “I love sleepwalking, because when else would I get to combine exercise and rest?”

— Jarod Kintz

21. “I love running. I’m not into marathons, but I am into avoiding problems at an accelerated rate.”

— Jarod Kintz

22. “My love is expansive. Your love is expensive.”

— Jarod Kintz

23. “The only drink I like ice in is water, because you can’t water down water. I’m like that with love, too. Don’t you dare add any ice to the hot liquid loving I’m trying to pour all over you.”

— Jarod Kintz

24. “I was going to change my clothes, but I changed my mind instead.”

— Jarod Kintz

25. “Don’t try to hog loneliness and keep it all to yourself. Share it with a special someone.”

— Jarod Kintz

26. “I define myself and grow as a person through emotional torment, so if you love me, you will inflict as much pain on me as you possibly can.”

— Jarod Kintz

27. “I’m bilingual, speaking English and body language. I prefer the latter, because I can speak it silently and without listening and while my back is turned.”

— Jarod Kintz

28. “I believe in true love. But my opinion is tainted, because I also believe in Bigfoot, aliens, and in the existence of honest politicians.”

— Jarod Kintz

29. “If I had a clone, he’d better be my equal, and not my better. Can you imagine how I’d feel being jealous of myself?”

— Jarod Kintz

30. “I am the earthquake of love. How you feel is my fault.”

— Jarod Kintz

31. “I haven’t been feeling like myself lately. No, I’ve been feeling like my clone.”

— Jarod Kintz

32. “The sunset faded and blended from pink to peach to mango in a smoothie in the sky. For as long as she doesn’t love me, I will love her.”

— Jarod Kintz

33. “Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, because that plane is still on the ground.”

— Jarod Kintz

34. “Because I’m emotionally immature, I’d prefer letting go of you early and always remembering you as you were, rather than hanging on and letting things develop and blossom and then eventually decay.”

— Jarod Kintz

35. “Today is your special day, even if today might be tomorrow to an Australian. And even though you’re not Australian, it doesn’t negate the fact that today may or may not be tomorrow.”

— Jarod Kintz

36. “I want to spend less time talking about myself, and more time listening to what other people have to say about me.”

— Jarod Kintz

37. “When people change, I’m disappointed they’re not who I remember them being. And when people don’t change, I’m disappointed they still are who they were. All people do is disappoint, and I do mean all people.”

— Jarod Kintz

38. “I once asked an old Japanese man why Japan decided to team up with Germany during WWII, and do you know what he told me? Well, you would if you speak Japanese, which I don’t.”

— Jarod Kintz

39. “Friends are like orgasms: you can never have too many, but just try to watch out for the fake ones.”

— Jarod Kintz

40. “Love knows no boundaries. I wish I would have known that before I hired a cartographer to map out my romantic territory.”

— Jarod Kintz

41. “It’s true, I can’t make you love me. But I can refuse to let you out of your cage.”

— Jarod Kintz

42. “You gotta run more than your mouth to escape the treadmill of mediocrity. A true hustler jogs during the day, and sleepwalks at night.”

— Jarod Kintz

43. “I had a dream about you. I said green was blue and yellow, and you said green was yellow and blue. You were like that with everything I said, taking the exact opposite stance, yet completely agreeing with me. That’s how I knew you loved me.”

— Jarod Kintz

44. “My love is rare, like a hornless unicorn.”

— Jarod Kintz

45. “Learning how to love is like learning how to tie your shoes, and that’s precisely why I wear slippers.”

— Jarod Kintz

46. “Between hello and goodbye is I love you.”

— Jarod Kintz

47. “She had two lips like strawberries, and the seeds gave her kisses texture. I preferred kissing her over two scoops of vanilla ice cream.”

— Jarod Kintz

48. “Love will wreck your heart like a derailed train. So choo-choose your partner wisely.”

— Jarod Kintz

49. “I am the sunrise of sunsets, and I make love like noon at midnight.”

— Jarod Kintz

50. “Patience and wisdom walk hand in hand, like two one-armed lovers.”

— Jarod Kintz