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Top 500 Woody Allen Quotes (2024 Update)
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Woody Allen Quote: “To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer. Not to love is to suffer.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Every success is built on the ability to do better than good enough. As you climb the ladder of success, be sure it’s leaning against the right building. Eighty percent of success is showing up.”
Woody Allen Quote: “The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Between the Pope and air conditioning, I’d choose air conditioning.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Our love, our love will last forever. It’s forever but it just doesn’t work. That’s why it will always be romantic because it can not be complete.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.”
Woody Allen Quote: “All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that yesterday too, and it rained.”
Woody Allen Quote: “If my films make one more person miserable, I’ll feel I have done my job.”
Woody Allen Quote: “My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I don’t know enough to be incompetent.”
Woody Allen Quote: “My films are a form of psychoanalysis, except that it is I who am paid, which changes everything.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I was walking through the woods, thinking about Christ. If He was a carpenter, I wondered what He charged for bookshelves.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Show business is dog eat dog. It’s worse than dog eat dog. It’s dog doesn’t return dog’s phone calls.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Your still searching for me in every woman. You’ll always seek to duplicate what we had. You know it.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I read in self-defense.”
Woody Allen Quote: “You’re still in love’ ‘No I’m not, I’m not She’ll always be a part of me, and she’s an important person in my life but for the two of us something wasn’t working.’ ‘What element?’ ‘We never found out.”
Woody Allen Quote: “You know, it’s one thing about intellectuals, they prove that you can be absolutely brilliant and have no idea what’s going on.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody’s.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Reality may not be the best of all possible worlds, but it’s still the only place where you can get a decent steak.”
Woody Allen Quote: “He’s a politician. That’s a notch below child molester.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Nothing like a little post-traumatic stress disorder to make your day complete.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Achilles only had an Achilles heel. I have an entire Achilles body.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Better not think too much. Relying more on the body: it is more trustworthy.”
Woody Allen Quote: “In California, they don’t throw their garbage away – they make it into TV shows.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I believe in sex and death- two experiences that come once in a lifetime.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Isn’t all mankind ultimately executed for a crime it never committed?”
Woody Allen Quote: “Is Knowledge knowable? If not, how do we know?”
Woody Allen Quote: “When you are dead, it is hard to find the light switch.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I’m short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.”
Woody Allen Quote: “If you aren’t failing every now and then, you’re probably playing it too safe.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I know what I think but I don’t know how to put it into words. Maybe I could get a little bit drunk and dance it for you.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Honey! Bring down a copy of my will – and an eraser!”
Woody Allen Quote: “I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?”
Woody Allen Quote: “Remember, if you smoke after sex you’re doing it too fast.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I had an IQ test. The results came back negative.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, ‘Be fruitful and multiply,’ but not in those words.”
Woody Allen Quote: “The meaning of life is that nobody knows the meaning of life.”
Woody Allen Quote: “My father owned a small piece of land. He carried it with him wherever he went.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I love nature, I just don’t want to get any of it on me.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Well, trouble’s my middle name. Actually, my middle name is Marion, but I don’t want you spreading that around.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.”
Woody Allen Quote: “The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.”
Woody Allen Quote: “What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?”
Woody Allen Quote: “When you travel around the country, you see what a tough town New York is: rude, competitive, a town where good, logical ideas are ignored in favor of unworkable ones. And yet, all these other towns are so dead and boring compared to New York.”
Woody Allen Quote: “When I am in New York, I want to be in Europe, and when I am in Europe, I want to be in New York.”
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