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Woody Allen Quotes

Woody Allen Quote: “Eighty percent of success is showing up.”
Woody Allen Quote: “If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”
Woody Allen Quote: “The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.”
Woody Allen Quote: “The heart wants what it wants. There’s no logic to these things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that’s that.”
Woody Allen Quote: “If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I’m not anti-social. I’m just not social.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.”
Woody Allen Quote: “If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse.”
Woody Allen Quote: “The only love that lasts is unrequited love.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Life’s hard, then you die.”
Woody Allen Quote: “The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.”
Woody Allen Quote: “The heart wants what it wants.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Talent is luck. The important thing in life is courage.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I don’t know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.”
Woody Allen Quote: “In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.”
Woody Allen Quote: “All i have in my life is my imagination.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Those who can’t do, teach. And those who can’t teach, teach gym.”
Woody Allen Quote: “We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Paranoia is knowing all the facts.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Just showing up is half the battle.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Showing up is 80 percent of life.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Is sex dirty? Only when it’s being done right.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Just because youre paranoid doesnt mean they arent out to get you.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I’ve become the person I’ve always hated, but I’m happier.”
Woody Allen Quote: “If 90% of success in life is showing up, the other 10% depends on what you’re showing up for.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I never start editing a film until it’s completely shot; I don’t edit along the way, ever. When it’s finished I come in here and we start with reel one, scene one and start editing shot by shot by shot until we’re finished.”
Woody Allen Quote: “We stand at a crossroads. One path leads to despair, the other to destruction. Let’s hope we make the right choice.”
Woody Allen Quote: “What if nothing exists and we’re all in somebody’s dream?”
Woody Allen Quote: “The most important words in the English language are not ‘I love you’ but ‘it’s benign.’”
Woody Allen Quote: “The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Why ruin a good story with the truth?”
Woody Allen Quote: “Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.”
Woody Allen Quote: “In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Don’t worry, I know almost exactly what I’m doing.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Where did we come from? Where are we going? Is there possibility of a group discount?”
Woody Allen Quote: “Problems are like toilet paper. You pull on one and ten more come.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I hate the beach. I hate the sun. I’m pale and I’m redheaded. I don’t tan – I stroke!”
Woody Allen Quote: “I’d never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Eternity is really long, especially near the end.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I love the rain – it washes memories off the sidewalk of life.”
Woody Allen Quote: “If you aren’t failing, you aren’t trying.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I don’t want to live forever through my work. I want to live forever by not dying.”
Woody Allen Quote: “My ex-wife was a philosophy major at NYU. Yeah, she and I used to have deep philosophical discussions where she would prove that I didn’t exist.”
Woody Allen Quote: “There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it’s one of the best.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it’s the government.”
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