Top 500 Woody Allen Quotes (2023 Update)
Page 4 of 10

151. “My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.”

— Woody Allen

152. “Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.”

— Woody Allen

153. “I foresee death by culture shock.”

— Woody Allen

154. “What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?”

— Woody Allen

155. “Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful; provided you get between the right man and the right woman.”

— Woody Allen

156. “I work all the time because it’s a great distraction and it keeps me from sitting home and obsessing morbidly.”

— Woody Allen

157. “Tradition is the illusion of permanance.”

— Woody Allen

158. “I prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.”

— Woody Allen

159. “Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.”

— Woody Allen

160. “All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that.”

— Woody Allen

161. “This year I’m a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole?”

— Woody Allen

162. “The best an idea gets is when its in your head.”

— Woody Allen

163. “Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.”

— Woody Allen

164. “For some reason I’m more appreciated in France than I am back home. The subtitles must be incredibly good.”

— Woody Allen

165. “You are always a comedian by default. You are this way because you’ve been forced to be this way, but it is better to be the hero. So if you can be a persona, the great one of my lifetime of course was and is Marlon Brando.”

— Woody Allen

166. “There’s nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dart about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope.”

— Woody Allen

167. “Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.”

— Woody Allen

168. “No Matter what you do there will be critics.”

— Woody Allen

169. “I write about what I want to write about, and so the film comes out as a very personal expression even if its subject matter is totally prefabricated.”

— Woody Allen

170. “Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.”

— Woody Allen

171. “American films, it’s a money-making industry. And in France, you can find great respect for cinema as art.”

— Woody Allen

172. “My heart says one thing. My head says another. Very hard to get your heart and head together in life.”

— Woody Allen

173. “Man cannot live by bread alone. Every once in awhile he needs a salad.”

— Woody Allen

174. “All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.”

— Woody Allen

175. “Sylvia Plath. Interesting poetess whose tragic suicide was misinterpreted as romantic by the college-girl mentality.”

— Woody Allen

176. “Geez, I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I’m never gonna get, and just enjoy it while it lasts.”

— Woody Allen

177. “If there is reincarnation, I’d like to come back as Warren Beatty’s fingertips.”

— Woody Allen

178. “The meaning of life is that nobody knows the meaning of life.”

— Woody Allen

179. “Eternity is awful long time, especially towards the end.”

— Woody Allen

180. “A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.”

— Woody Allen

181. “My grammy never gave gifts, you know. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.”

— Woody Allen

182. “My analyst warned me, but you were so beautiful I got another analyst.”

— Woody Allen

183. “Life is short. Short, and not about anything except what you can touch and what touches you.”

— Woody Allen

184. “Regarding love what can you say? It’s not the quantity of your sexual relations that counts. It’s the quality. On the other hand if the quantity drops below once every eight months, I would definitely look into it.”

— Woody Allen

185. “I don’t get depressed; I grow a tumor instead.”

— Woody Allen

186. “I have a hyper-active imagination, my mind tends to jump around a little, and I have some trouble between fantasy and reality.”

— Woody Allen

187. “A man that has never lied to a woman has no respect for her feelings.”

— Woody Allen

188. “The dictatorship is shut up, democracy is always concerned.”

— Woody Allen

189. “One must have one’s delusions to live. If you look at life too honestly and clearly, life becomes unbearable because it’s a pretty grim enterprise, you will admit.”

— Woody Allen

190. “I don’t inhale because it gives you cancer, but I look so incredibly handsome with a cigarette that I can’t not hold one.”

— Woody Allen

191. “The whole country was tied together by radio. We all experienced the same heroes and comedians and singers. They were giants.”

— Woody Allen

192. “Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again. God – I’ll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.”

— Woody Allen

193. “I’m going to my psychoanalyst one more year, then I’m going to Lourdes.”

— Woody Allen

194. “The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.”

— Woody Allen

195. “My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make films.”

— Woody Allen

196. “There are three things Jewish people worship-God, Chinese food and wall-to-wall carpeting.”

— Woody Allen

197. “My mother never had time for me. When you’re the middle child in a family of five million, you don’t get any attention.”

— Woody Allen

198. “You can’t ride two horses with one behind.”

— Woody Allen

199. “Human beings are divided into mind and body. The mind embraces all the nobler aspirations, like poetry and philosophy, but the body has all the fun.”

— Woody Allen

200. “The food in this place is really terrible. Yes, and such small portions. That’s essentially how I feel about life.”

— Woody Allen