Top 100

Top 500 Woody Allen Quotes (2023 Update)
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Woody Allen Quote: “My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I foresee death by culture shock.”
Woody Allen Quote: “What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?”
Woody Allen Quote: “Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful; provided you get between the right man and the right woman.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I work all the time because it’s a great distraction and it keeps me from sitting home and obsessing morbidly.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Tradition is the illusion of permanance.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.”
Woody Allen Quote: “All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that.”
Woody Allen Quote: “This year I’m a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole?”
Woody Allen Quote: “The best an idea gets is when its in your head.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.”
Woody Allen Quote: “For some reason I’m more appreciated in France than I am back home. The subtitles must be incredibly good.”
Woody Allen Quote: “You are always a comedian by default. You are this way because you’ve been forced to be this way, but it is better to be the hero. So if you can be a persona, the great one of my lifetime of course was and is Marlon Brando.”
Woody Allen Quote: “There’s nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dart about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.”
Woody Allen Quote: “No Matter what you do there will be critics.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I write about what I want to write about, and so the film comes out as a very personal expression even if its subject matter is totally prefabricated.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.”
Woody Allen Quote: “American films, it’s a money-making industry. And in France, you can find great respect for cinema as art.”
Woody Allen Quote: “My heart says one thing. My head says another. Very hard to get your heart and head together in life.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Man cannot live by bread alone. Every once in awhile he needs a salad.”
Woody Allen Quote: “All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Sylvia Plath. Interesting poetess whose tragic suicide was misinterpreted as romantic by the college-girl mentality.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Geez, I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I’m never gonna get, and just enjoy it while it lasts.”
Woody Allen Quote: “If there is reincarnation, I’d like to come back as Warren Beatty’s fingertips.”
Woody Allen Quote: “The meaning of life is that nobody knows the meaning of life.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Eternity is awful long time, especially towards the end.”
Woody Allen Quote: “A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.”
Woody Allen Quote: “My grammy never gave gifts, you know. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.”
Woody Allen Quote: “My analyst warned me, but you were so beautiful I got another analyst.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Life is short. Short, and not about anything except what you can touch and what touches you.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Regarding love what can you say? It’s not the quantity of your sexual relations that counts. It’s the quality. On the other hand if the quantity drops below once every eight months, I would definitely look into it.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I don’t get depressed; I grow a tumor instead.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I have a hyper-active imagination, my mind tends to jump around a little, and I have some trouble between fantasy and reality.”
Woody Allen Quote: “A man that has never lied to a woman has no respect for her feelings.”
Woody Allen Quote: “The dictatorship is shut up, democracy is always concerned.”
Woody Allen Quote: “One must have one’s delusions to live. If you look at life too honestly and clearly, life becomes unbearable because it’s a pretty grim enterprise, you will admit.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I don’t inhale because it gives you cancer, but I look so incredibly handsome with a cigarette that I can’t not hold one.”
Woody Allen Quote: “The whole country was tied together by radio. We all experienced the same heroes and comedians and singers. They were giants.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again. God – I’ll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I’m going to my psychoanalyst one more year, then I’m going to Lourdes.”
Woody Allen Quote: “The food here is terrible, and the portions are too small.”
Woody Allen Quote: “My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make films.”
Woody Allen Quote: “There are three things Jewish people worship-God, Chinese food and wall-to-wall carpeting.”
Woody Allen Quote: “My mother never had time for me. When you’re the middle child in a family of five million, you don’t get any attention.”
Woody Allen Quote: “You can’t ride two horses with one behind.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Human beings are divided into mind and body. The mind embraces all the nobler aspirations, like poetry and philosophy, but the body has all the fun.”
Woody Allen Quote: “The food in this place is really terrible. Yes, and such small portions. That’s essentially how I feel about life.”
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