Top 100

Top 500 Woody Allen Quotes (2024 Update)
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Woody Allen Quote: “The food in this place is really terrible. Yes, and such small portions. That’s essentially how I feel about life.”
Woody Allen Quote: “In the shower, with the hot water coming down, you’ve left the real world behind, and very frequently things open up for you. It’s the change of venue, the unblocking the attempt to force the ideas that’s crippling you when you’re trying to write.”
Woody Allen Quote: “There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?”
Woody Allen Quote: “There’s no way to prove that there is no God. You just have to take it on faith.”
Woody Allen Quote: “You can’t ride two horses with one behind.”
Woody Allen Quote: “My success has allowed me to strike out with a higher class of women.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Life is full of moments that are good – winning a lottery, seeing a beautiful woman, a great dinner – but the whole thing is tragic. It’s an oasis that is very pleasant.”
Woody Allen Quote: “All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that.”
Woody Allen Quote: “My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I work all the time because it’s a great distraction and it keeps me from sitting home and obsessing morbidly.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful; provided you get between the right man and the right woman.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I foresee death by culture shock.”
Woody Allen Quote: “When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Tradition is the illusion of permanance.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.”
Woody Allen Quote: “This year I’m a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole?”
Woody Allen Quote: “Your self-esteem is a notch below Kafka.”
Woody Allen Quote: “The best an idea gets is when its in your head.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.”
Woody Allen Quote: “For some reason I’m more appreciated in France than I am back home. The subtitles must be incredibly good.”
Woody Allen Quote: “You are always a comedian by default. You are this way because you’ve been forced to be this way, but it is better to be the hero. So if you can be a persona, the great one of my lifetime of course was and is Marlon Brando.”
Woody Allen Quote: “In order to be successful, all you’ve got to do is show up 80 percent of the time.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.”
Woody Allen Quote: “There’s nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dart about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope.”
Woody Allen Quote: “No Matter what you do there will be critics.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Dying is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I write about what I want to write about, and so the film comes out as a very personal expression even if its subject matter is totally prefabricated.”
Woody Allen Quote: “American films, it’s a money-making industry. And in France, you can find great respect for cinema as art.”
Woody Allen Quote: “My heart says one thing. My head says another. Very hard to get your heart and head together in life.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.”
Woody Allen Quote: “How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don’t know how the can-opener works.”
Woody Allen Quote: “All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Sylvia Plath. Interesting poetess whose tragic suicide was misinterpreted as romantic by the college-girl mentality.”
Woody Allen Quote: “If there is reincarnation, I’d like to come back as Warren Beatty’s fingertips.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Man cannot live by bread alone. Every once in awhile he needs a salad.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Eternity is awful long time, especially towards the end.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Geez, I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I’m never gonna get, and just enjoy it while it lasts.”
Woody Allen Quote: “One must have one’s delusions to live. If you look at life too honestly and clearly, life becomes unbearable because it’s a pretty grim enterprise, you will admit.”
Woody Allen Quote: “My analyst warned me, but you were so beautiful I got another analyst.”
Woody Allen Quote: “My grammy never gave gifts, you know. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Regarding love what can you say? It’s not the quantity of your sexual relations that counts. It’s the quality. On the other hand if the quantity drops below once every eight months, I would definitely look into it.”
Woody Allen Quote: “A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.”
Woody Allen Quote: “The whole concept of awards is silly. I cannot abide by the judgment of other people, because if you accept it when they say you deserve an award, then you have to accept it when they say you don’t.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I’m going to my psychoanalyst one more year, then I’m going to Lourdes.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I have a hyper-active imagination, my mind tends to jump around a little, and I have some trouble between fantasy and reality.”
Woody Allen Quote: “I don’t get depressed; I grow a tumor instead.”
Woody Allen Quote: “The dictatorship is shut up, democracy is always concerned.”
Woody Allen Quote: “Life is short. Short, and not about anything except what you can touch and what touches you.”
Woody Allen Quote: “The whole country was tied together by radio. We all experienced the same heroes and comedians and singers. They were giants.”
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