Top 500 Mark Twain Quotes (2024 Update)
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151. “Good exercise for the heart: reach out and help your neighbor.”

— Mark Twain

152. “I was educated once – it took me years to get over it.”

— Mark Twain

153. “The world doesn’t owe you anything. It was here first.”

— Mark Twain

154. “Great things can happen when you don’t care who gets the credit.”

— Mark Twain

155. “I’m in favor of progress; it’s change I don’t like.”

— Mark Twain

156. “To someone with a hammer, everything looks like a nail.”

— Mark Twain

157. “A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.”

— Mark Twain

158. “India is, the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend, and the great grand mother of tradition. our most valuable and most instructive materials in the history of man are treasured up in India only.”

— Mark Twain

159. “There is no security in life, only opportunity.”

— Mark Twain

160. “Some of the worst things in my life never even happened.”

— Mark Twain

161. “The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”

— Mark Twain

162. “One must travel, to learn.”

— Mark Twain

163. “Never let formal education get in the way of your learning.”

— Mark Twain

164. “To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.”

— Mark Twain

165. “You can’t reason someone out of something that they weren’t reasoned into in the first place.”

— Mark Twain

166. “The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.”

— Mark Twain

167. “Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.”

— Mark Twain

168. “The inability to forget is far more devastating than the inability to remember.”

— Mark Twain

169. “A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”

— Mark Twain

170. “Don’t wait the time is never just right.”

— Mark Twain

171. “Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words.”

— Mark Twain

172. “You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet. But sometimes you meet those people you can’t forget. Those are your ’friends.”

— Mark Twain

173. “It’s no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.”

— Mark Twain

174. “Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out.”

— Mark Twain

175. “The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.”

— Mark Twain

176. “There is no such thing as a new idea. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope.”

— Mark Twain

177. “Warm summer sun, shine kindly here. Warm southern wind, blow softly here. Green sod above, lie light, lie light. Good night, dear Heart, Good night, good night.”

— Mark Twain

178. “If you want love and abundance in your life, give it away.”

— Mark Twain

179. “Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.”

— Mark Twain

180. “We are all ignorant; just about different things.”

— Mark Twain

181. “There is nothing to be learned from the second kick of a mule.”

— Mark Twain

182. “The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.”

— Mark Twain

183. “There are only two types of speakers in the world. 1. The nervous and 2. Liars.”

— Mark Twain

184. “There are lies, damned lies and statistics.”

— Mark Twain

185. “Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.”

— Mark Twain

186. “Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.”

— Mark Twain

187. “I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can’t find anybody who can tell me what they want.”

— Mark Twain

188. “When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.”

— Mark Twain

189. “No man’s life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session.”

— Mark Twain

190. “A German joke is no laughing matter.”

— Mark Twain

191. “How far we travel in life matters far less than those we meet along the way.”

— Mark Twain

192. “Supposing is good, but finding out is better.”

— Mark Twain

193. “The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.”

— Mark Twain

194. “There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones; it can lift men to angelship.”

— Mark Twain

195. “Some people give their problems swimming lessons instead of drowning them.”

— Mark Twain

196. “Make your vacation your vocation.”

— Mark Twain

197. “I can live for two months on a good compliment.”

— Mark Twain

198. “Censorship is telling a man he can’t have a steak just because a baby can’t chew it.”

— Mark Twain

199. “Whiskey is for drinking; water is for fighting over.”

— Mark Twain

200. “Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.”

— Mark Twain