Top 150 Michael Scott Quotes (2025 Update)

1. “Don’t ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what.”

— Michael Scott

Featured in: Fiction Quotes, Silly Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Crazy Quotes, Character Quotes

2. “The only time I set the bar low is for limbo.”

— Michael Scott

3. “Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t know where it’s going. I just hope to find it somewhere along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.”

— Michael Scott

Featured in: Funny Quotes, Silly Quotes, Creative Quotes, Funny Work Quotes, Boss Quotes

4. “The day we stop learning is the day we die.”

— Michael Scott

5. “A warrior with a cause is the most dangerous soldier of all.”

— Michael Scott

6. “Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.”

— Michael Scott

7. “I am both a night owl and an early bird. So I am wise and I have worms.”

— Michael Scott

8. “The line between confidence and arrogance is very fine, and the line between arrogance and stupidity even finer.”

— Michael Scott

9. “Do I want to be feared or loved? That’s a good question. I want both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”

— Michael Scott

Featured in: Funny Quotes, Boss Quotes, Funny Office Quotes

10. “Make friends first, make sales second, make love third. In no particular order.”

— Michael Scott

Featured in: Silly Quotes, Hilarious Quotes, Crazy Quotes, Firsts Quotes

11. “In my experience, we only ever regret the things we have not done.”

— Michael Scott

12. “It’s never too early for ice cream.”

— Michael Scott

13. “Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I donno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me – no, don’t sue me. That is opposite the point I’m trying to make.”

— Michael Scott

Featured in: Sarcastic Quotes, Funny Inspirational Quotes, Volunteer Quotes, Funny Motivational Quotes, Funny Office Quotes

14. “Am I a hero? I really can’t say, but yes.”

— Michael Scott

15. “The strong survive, but the courageous triumph.”

— Michael Scott

16. “Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it’s not like a compulsive need to be liked. Like my need to be praised.”

— Michael Scott

Featured in: Funny Quotes, Funny Office Quotes

17. “You don’t call retarded people retards. It’s bad taste. You call your friends retards when they are acting retarded.”

— Michael Scott

18. “We’re all homos. Homo sapiens.”

— Michael Scott

19. “Every story starts with an idea, but it is the characters that move this idea forward.”

— Michael Scott

Featured in: Storytelling Quotes

20. “Great change always comes down to the actions of a single person.”

— Michael Scott

21. “Abraham Lincoln once said that if you are a racist, I will attack you with the north. And those are the principles that I carry with me in the workplace.”

— Michael Scott

22. “I love inside jokes. I hope to be a part of one some day.”

— Michael Scott

Featured in: Hilarious Quotes, Funny Office Quotes, Funny Wednesday Quotes, Funny Best Friend Quotes

23. “There is no such thing as an appropriate joke. That’s why it’s a joke.”

— Michael Scott

24. “Fools lie, clever men stick to the truth.”

— Michael Scott

25. “Distance makes everything beautiful.”

— Michael Scott

26. “My mom always used to say that average people are the most special people in the world. And that’s why God made so many.”

— Michael Scott

27. “The people that you work with are, when you get down to it, your very best friends.”

— Michael Scott

28. “We humans are nothing more than the sum of our memories.”

— Michael Scott

Featured in: Making Memories Quotes

29. “What is it like being single? I like it! I like starting each day with a sense of possibility. And I’m optimistic, because everyday I get a little more desperate. And desperate situations yield the quickest results.”

— Michael Scott

Featured in: Being Single Quotes

30. “Coffee is the great incentivizer in the office.”

— Michael Scott

31. “I’ll have an awesome blossom, EXTRA awesome.”

— Michael Scott

32. “Wait. Look. Notice. If you keep those three words in mind, you just might survive the next few days.”

— Michael Scott

33. “And once begun, change cannot be reversed.”

— Michael Scott

34. “Reverse psychology is an awesome tool, I don’t know if you guys know about it, but basically you can make someone think the opposite of what you believe, and that tricks them into doing something stupid. Works like a charm.”

— Michael Scott

35. “First up, the lost and found has gone missing. It itself, is lost. So please try not to lose anything until we find it.”

— Michael Scott

36. “I swore to myself that if I ever got to walk around the room as manager, people would laugh when they saw me coming, and would applaud as I walked away.”

— Michael Scott

37. “You are not living, you are surviving.”

— Michael Scott

38. “At the heart of every legend there is a grain of truth.”

— Michael Scott

39. “Wikipedia is the best thing ever.”

— Michael Scott

40. “This year, more people will use cocaine than will read a book to their children.”

— Michael Scott

Featured in: Book Quotes

41. “Presents are the best way to show someone how much you care. It is like this tangible thing that you can point to and say, Hey man, I love you this many dollars-worth.”

— Michael Scott

42. “But the truth is a double-edged sword; it is a dangerous thing.”

— Michael Scott

43. “Don’t ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you’ve been, ever, for any reason whatsoever.”

— Michael Scott

44. “When I said that I was king of forwards, you’ve got to understand that I don’t come up with this stuff. I just forward it along. You wouldn’t arrest a guy who was just passing drugs from one guy to another.”

— Michael Scott

45. “I don’t want somebody sucking up to me because they think I am going to help their career. I want them sucking up to me because they genuinely love me.”

— Michael Scott

46. “I never avoid something that challenges my guts and my heart. While I might occasionally puke my guts out, I have never puked my heart out.”

— Michael Scott

Featured in: Hilarious Quotes

47. “We do not always get what we want. Sometimes life presents us with surprises.”

— Michael Scott

48. “A good story is always a journey. It is about taking the journey, the people the hero meets along the way and how they change him or her. All stories are journeys. They don’t have to be shocking or outrageous: they simply have to be interesting.”

— Michael Scott

49. “He who retreats lives longer.”

— Michael Scott

50. “You must learn to heed your senses. Humans use but a tiny percentage of theirs. They barely look, they rarely listen, they never smell, and they think that they can only experience feelings through their skin. But they talk, oh, do they talk.”

— Michael Scott