Top 200 Crazy Quotes (2024 Update)
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101. “A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.”

— George Carlin

102. “I’m going to live forever. Geniuses don’t die.”

— Salvador Dalí

103. “Don’t cry for a man who’s left you – the next one may fall for your smile.”

— Mae West

104. “Wu-Tang is for the children.”

— Ol' Dirty Bastard

105. “Take me, I am the drug; take me, I am hallucinogenic.”

— Salvador Dalí

106. “Once I dreamed I was a butterfly, and now I no longer know whether I am Chuang Tzu, who dreamed I was a butterfly, or whether I am a butterfly dreaming that I am Chuang Tzu.”

— Zhuangzi

107. “Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light.”

— Spike Milligan

108. “Work like there is someone working twenty-four hours a day to take it all away from you.”

— Mark Cuban

109. “You should view the world as a conspiracy run by a very closely-knit group of nearly omnipotent people, and you should think of those people as yourself and your friends.”

— Robert Anton Wilson

110. “We’re never gonna survive unless we go a little crazy.”

— Seal

111. “Space is big. You just won’t believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it’s a long way down the road to the chemist’s, but that’s just peanuts to space.”

— Douglas Adams

112. “Make friends first, make sales second, make love third. In no particular order.”

— Michael Scott

113. “Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?”

— Douglas Adams

114. “I’m just a musical prostitute, my dear.”

— Freddie Mercury

115. “Drop it like it’s hot.”

— Snoop Dogg

116. “Academia is to knowledge what prostitution is to love; close enough on the surface but, to the non-sucker, not exactly the same thing.”

— Nassim Nicholas Taleb

117. “When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth.”

— Kurt Vonnegut

118. “Insanity is catching.”

— Terry Pratchett

119. “Of course I’m crazy, but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong.”

— Robert Anton Wilson

120. “The day before something is a breakthrough, it’s a crazy idea.”

— Peter H. Diamandis

121. “Life is too short to learn German.”

— Richard Porson

122. “If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be. ”

— Yogi Berra

123. “Today is Valentine’s Day – or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!”

— Jay Leno

124. “Anything less than the best is a felony.”

— Vanilla Ice

125. “It’s a crazy world out there. Be curious.”

— Stephen Hawking

126. “Don’t ask me, I don’t know.”

— Ozzy Osbourne

127. “With artificial intelligence we are summoning the demon.”

— Elon Musk

128. “Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks.”

— Robert A. Heinlein

129. “We want the world, and we want it now!”

— Jim Morrison

130. “Screw it. Let's do it.”

— Richard Branson

131. “And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.”

— Friedrich Nietzsche

132. “They did not know it was impossible so they did it.”

— Mark Twain

133. “Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”

— George Carlin

134. “You can’t be old and wise, if you were never young and crazy.”

— Chris Brown

135. “If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?”

— Steven Wright

136. “You're only given a little spark of madness. Don't lose it.”

— Robin Williams

137. “I’m not strange, weird, off, nor crazy, my reality is just different from yours.”

— Lewis Carroll

138. “42 is a nice number that you can take home and introduce to your family.”

— Douglas Adams

139. “In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.”

— Mark Twain

140. “There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.”

— Linda Grayson

141. “Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.”

— Rick Cook

142. “I have an ego the size of a small planet.”

— Linus Torvalds

143. “Live fast. Die young. Be wild. Have fun.”

— Lana Del Rey

144. “The truth is you don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed.”

— Eminem

145. “If you ever start taking things too seriously, just remember that we are talking monkeys on an organic spaceship flying through the universe.”

— Joe Rogan

146. “In a mad world, only the mad are sane.”

— Akira Kurosawa

147. “To myself I am only a child playing on the beach, while vast oceans of truth lie undiscovered before me.”

— Isaac Newton

148. “People think you’re crazy if you talk about things they don’t understand.”

— Elvis Presley

149. “Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”

— George Carlin

150. “There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory, which states that this has already happened.”

— Douglas Adams